This article is dedicated to the loving memory of Aashish Garg: a loving husband, son, brother, and friend. Aashish was born on July 20, 1979 and my family has known him since the late 80’s. Aashish passed away on March 9, 2011 after a brave fight against cancer. I was heartbroken and the only way I can express my true thoughts is through typed words on a computer. I will never forget how selfless, gracious, and loving Aashish was in his 31 years of life.
Note: I plan to keep updating this article as I find old photos from our childhood in the archives and recall additional memories that I may not have written about initially.
Childhood
The first time I remember meeting Aashish was at Chinmaya Mission, also known as Bala Vihar, in Ann Arbor, Michigan. As a matter of fact, he was most likely the tallest person at Bala Vihar, which was located in the basement of the Kumar family at the time. Whenever Aashish stood up, his head was close to touch the ceiling. Given his physical size, I was intimidated on first impression, but he gave me a reason not to be: his personality.
Aashish loved to joke around and also act like an older brother to me. He often scolded me when I talked out loud in the middle of Bala Vihar classes. He always sat next to my brother Nitin at the back of the room and they immediately became friends. Both of them used to team up and call me out when I was being mischievous. At the time, I tried hard to resist their combined authority, but today I know how valuable their elderly brother attitude towards me was. I miss the times when Aashish gave me advice. Those memories are irreplaceable.
In 1993, I was in 5th grade and Aashish and my brother both started attending Huron High School and became even closer. At that time, Aashish used to enjoy making fun of each other at Bala Vihar and at each other’s houses. Aashish used to call me either “Omelet” or “Vomit” and I used to call him “Hashish products,” a term that I learned in D.A.R.E. that year. (I never said we were clever in the name calling).
During Aashish and my brother’s freshman year at Huron, they started going to each other’s houses to study and hang out regularly. When Aashish hung out at our house, I started learning why him and my brother got along. Aashish enjoyed watching The Simpsons as much as we did and he had a deep fascination with electronics just like us.
I remember a time back then when my parents bought a brand new stereo which had a CD player, taper player, input box and external speakers. We did not know how to set up even after constantly going over the instructions. Aashish came over and set it up instantly like he was MacGuyver and did not ask us for any kind of reward. This memory reminds me of how selfless Aashish was.
Coming of Age - High School/College
It seemed like Aashish and Nitin turned from freshmen to seniors in an instant. I loved watching them grow older together. They were practically like brothers. Not too long after getting their driver’s licenses, they decided to go on a couple of road trips including a trip to New York City.
One of the stories that Nitin came back with from New York City is how Aashish, him, and their other friends intended on taking a train to the city. They got lost and their train ended up in the Bronx. Imagine a few naive high schoolers from the Midwest getting lost in one of the roughest boroughs in the United States. Definitely an uncomfortable experience.
Nitin and Aashish also travelled to Pasadena, California together to watch University of Michigan play in the Rose Bowl while I was stuck bored at home. But I was genuinely happy to see Aashish and Nitin grow up and explore other parts of the world outside of Michigan without parental supervision. It made me excited about growing up and no longer being a kid myself.
I believe it was Nitin and Aashish’s sophomore year that they decided to get an apartment together on the University of Michigan campus. It was in this apartment that they acted like true college students - they enjoyed their “independence,” studied hard, ate Ramen noodles for meals, and played games on their computers during their free time.
Aashish knew how much I enjoyed playing with computers a lot and he gained some information that I knew would make me go nuts. It was called MP3s. In the late 90’s, there were a couple CD purchasing services that kids took advantage of known as Columbia House and BMG. The two services allowed people to buy 9 CDs for a penny or for free with the intention of buying 9 CDs at a cost over the next several years. We would go through the catalog and think hard before making our decisions about what CDs to get our hands on.
MP3s were a way to get around CDs and Aashish knew how to get them and play them. Aashish showed me how to get them and shared them through File Transfer Protocols (FTP) and told me not to get addicted. I got addicted to downloading MP3s around the clock and lost sleep because of how hard I searched for them. Aashish was right. Once you learn how to get MP3s, you get addicted quickly. Today everybody knows what MP3s are and Aashish was one of the first people to know how to get them. Remember how I told you earlier in this story that he was fascinated by electronics and computers?
Post-College
Aashish graduated from University of Michigan with a Computer Engineering degree in 2001 and started working full time at a company called Lambent Technologies. He worked there for about a year and a couple months before starting law school at the University of San Diego. While attending law school in San Diego, Aashish discovered how much he loved that city and decided to stay there.
While Aashish was in law school, we stayed in touch through instant messenger. I met him once in August 2004 at a wedding, but did not get to talk much given how busy the event was. We had a couple minutes to take a quick group picture though:
After Aashish moved away to pursue law school, Nitin remained in Ann Arbor to finish another year of college and started studying for a Master’s degree. During this time Nitin met the girl of his dreams and decided to get engaged to her. Nitin and Deepti had an engagement party in Toronto in May 2005.
In April 2006, Nitin, Aashish, and I had a huge reason to reunite: the bachelor party. We decided to have the bachelor party in Las Vegas, which is 4-5 hours from San Diego. About 4-5 of us arrived in Las Vegas from Detroit where Aashish was waiting for us in his brand new Acura TL.
It was an amazing weekend and I’m glad Aashish was there. He had celebrated several Bachelor parties in Las Vegas before Nitin’s so he was led the way on what to expect.
One of the biggest inside jokes that we had from that weekend was a text message I sent to Aashish. As the night was winding down at Club Rain at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas, Aashish left a few minutes and was waiting for us outside with a couple of other Nitin’s friends.
He made sure to let me know where he was so we would not look around for him frantically around the club. Aashish sent me a text message that said “Waiting for you guys outside.” I was a bit dazed after having a couple of tequila shots and I wasn’t thinking clearly when I was responded. It turns out I sent him back a text message that said “Too drumk to find you right now. Sincerfly -Amit.” After we left the club, I called him and met up with him and the others where he showed me the message. ”First of all you spelled Sincerely wrong and secondly who writes ‘Sincerely’ in a text message?”
Below are some photos of all of us having fun that weekend:
After the bachelor party, Aashish sent us an e-mail. It made me smile after re-reading it 5 years later:
“I hope everyone made it home safe. I had lots of fun and we have to do this again soon! It was great seeing everyone after so long. Nitin, I hope you remember this shit, and if not we have pictures with you and Radhika [inside joke] to remind you :)”
Aashish’s Engagement/Wedding
Shortly after starting a job as an Associate Patent Counsel at Qualcomm in September 2009, Aashish got engaged to his girlfriend Neha in November 2009. The wedding planning commenced after that.
On July 28, 2010 Aashish revealed that he was randomly selected for jury duty during the same week as his wedding. He mailed a letter to the judge but his request was denied. Then he talked to a clerk and his request was granted again.
On August 30, 2010 Aashish wrote on my Facebook wall congratulating me on my engagement to Monica. Aashish made sure to give people best wishes on their birthdays, engagements, etc. He always took the initiative to stay in touch with people, which was another one of his amazing characteristics.
Whenever Aashish and I were online on Facebook, Google Talk, or AOL Instant Messenger at the same time, him and I caught up. I still remember an extensive conversation we had about how small the world is. For example, we both learned how we both know Pinita Shah. And one time, my parents and I randomly met Aashish’s parents at a random hotel in Mysore — a small city in Karnataka, India.
On the weekend of September 17, 2010 Aashish and Neha were officially married. Nitin and Deepti were able to attend and one of the memories they have is that during the Sangeet, Aashish stepped out to talk to them for about an hour. They talked about how quickly life has changed and how they have come a long way.
In October 2010, Aashish wrote a comment on Facebook that was related to the Chinmaya Mission website. ”Really nice website! I will have to stop by next time I am in town,” said Aashish in the comment. As you can tell Aashish still had a deep respect for his roots, where he came from, and the values he learned from Chinmaya Mission.
A Cold Winter
Within a month of that moment, Aashish found out that he was sick. The next several months were painful. When Aashish passed away, all of his friends and family were devastated and started to become very spiritual. How could a man that was so genuine be taken away from us so soon? ”Why do bad things happen to good people?” wrote Aashish’s sister Monika. I agree with Monika. Aashish was a very good person. He touched the lives of everyone he encountered.
Instead of mourning your death, I’d rather celebrate your life, Aashish. I know you’ll be watching over us as our guardian angel.
“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach
We all love you and look forward to meeting you again in a future life.
